My hands were sweaty, I had a huge lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach, and I felt like I was going to throw up. There are two subtypes of this OCD. Thank you, @Doubt_It hi and thanks so much for your reply. The OCD sufferer’s compulsive need to confess is the result of false guilt brought on by unfounded doubt that he or she has done something wrong. I ran downstairs in the dead of night, heading for the front door. Not the typical anxiety I battled on a weekly basis, but something different. I was experiencing what felt like a mental breakdown, and it wasn't pretty. They are uncontrollable and difficult to push out, which usually leads to OCD sufferers trying to "neutralise" the thought by completing a compulsion. All in all, I'm doing OK. I felt like the anxiety was taking root inside my body and I needed to get it out. I'm having a terrible time with my OCD lately -- I confess things every day to my boyfriend, & feel terrible about myself. The details are fuzzy, as they were then, but I knew that it was somehow my fault. I thought the confessing had gone away for good, because I didn't experience any symptoms for more than 10 years. Chels, July 31, 2020 in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I feel so guilty for my thoughts because I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I literally CAN NOT stop confessing! But a few years ago, after a night of heavy drinking and partying, I experienced a heavy dose of anxiety. Hell, if you experience that way, and really do have to confess to God (or any other being) obsessively, I guess in some sick way you could be considered lucky for looking normal. I don’t even have any ifs or buts because I know it’s what I need to do if I want to move forward and unstick myself from this habit! Then I threw up. It often manifests itself in different forms that make it difficult for me to easily discern what's going on. It won’t be easy, as with any form of OCD. I'm happy to share that I'm only showering once a night, and I'm sleeping just fine. It’s something that my current boyfriend really struggles to understand. But you’ve got to have faith in yourself and be ok with sitting with the anxiety without confessing. In the days that followed, my body filled with an emotion I could only describe as guilt. When I told my therapist I thought I was experiencing insomnia, she helped me realise this behaviour was also related to my OCD. On the day of my appointment, I walked into the specialist's office fully prepared to leave feeling no better. I sat her down very seriously and said, "I have something to tell you." The cycle I began in 2001 had started all over again, just with a different person. Home; Blog; Store; Team; Contact; Log In; Home; Body & Brain; What Are Intrusive Thoughts in OCD & How to Get Rid Of Them? This bout of anxiety/OCD came up out of nowhere a few months ago for me. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. I have to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in place. My OCD is far from fixed, but the important thing for me is that it is fixable. But in the days, weeks, and months that followed, the ritual didn't always leave me feeling "right." Most posts on here are in essence reassurance seeking. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. Come on, you’ve got this! However, an hour or two later, the guilty feeling was back. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. You know what happens to me a lot. Marianne Eloise explains how coming to terms with dying has helped her condition. I read somewhere that OCD and confessing can be some of the most painful mental health problems, my friend who had Pure O also confessed to me and it made me lose contact with him in the end but this was mainly to do with the mental health problems I was experiencing at the time. It is so difficult and seems like a simple enough task but it’s hard! You’ve got the benefit of that knowledge now, now it’s up to you to get yourself over this. So I can truly sympathise with what you’re going through. ERP required that I purposely not complete my rituals, allowing myself to stay up all night rather than take that second shower I so desperately felt I needed. OCD will always make you question everything. If you are a Christian, anything you have done has been forgiven and forgotten from God(as far as the East is from the West). It may even be one of the reasons you fell in love with your partner in the fist place. My last was exactly this. I knew that by confessing to a priest you were absolved of your sins, but I didn't have a priest on hand, so I did the next best thing, which was to confess to my mom. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. It will be an uphill battle because you keep doing it snd now it's ingrained. And I know exactly what I’m doing I literally can’t help myself it’s driving me insane! Even though most people are to some degree are weary of the cheating in the relationship, this OCD fear goes above and beyond that. × The worries drive me insane sometimes. It is OCD and confessing is a compulsion. If the person posting doesn’t agree with the response, which should always be, “it doesn’t matter, it’s ocd - stop”. Like @PolarBear says though, the only way to get over it is to stop. I’ve had nearly 30 years of this, so I don’t always take my own advice do I , Don't know if you mean the same as me but i have been incapable of lying for the last 20 years now. Restore formatting, × That’s all it is. I hope that your boyfriend is understanding, he sounds like a good guy and I’m sure that he will be. That was the beginning; I just didn't know it yet. Participating in ERP has definitely helped, but it's a long process. I work out at least five days a week, and I try to eat a diet that doesn't consist solely of hot Cheetos and lemonade. More importantly: what are the treatment options? This continued on and off for years, my brain deeming certain things "bad" and other things "good." Guilt is a huge part of OCD, so much so that confessions can include saying things that one might have even done. Those that don’t have OCD can’t get their heads around why it’s so hard for us to keep things to ourselves and not worry. Frankly, for OCD sufferers, ERP is terrifying to even think about. ”does it mean I’m” doesn’t matter, stop! When you want to help someone with OCD, you need to know what it is first. Skip to content. Hi Paco and thanks for the comment. , @PolarBear it’s a lot easier said that done but it HAS to be done I don’t really have an option. What people feel the need to be reassured about varies, but there are often consistent themes for each individual. OCD is a tricky beast. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. What causes them? I was the same at a young age I confessed everything and I didn’t realise up until I was 19 that it was OCD I always thought I was just weird! I agree with the comment saying that nobody will benefit from confessing. I spend a lot of time in my own head, so learning how to navigate what goes on inside of it has been paramount to living the closest thing to a normal life that I can muster. Write it down 10 more times and mark the level of anxiety again. Only this time it didn't work right away. OCD confessing is like washing your hands twenty times in a row. Sometimes OCD develops after the death of a loved one. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Here is how to be supportive and helpful. @Chels I relate to this a lot so can sympathise. My biggest compulsion is confession (of a past event). Excessive reassurance seeking is a compulsive act done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. And don’t forget that yourself either, what happened today is the consequence of doing a compulsion and nothing more. I confessed something previously to him, and something else came up that I felt the need to confess, so I feel like confessing would only make me worse. The longer I waited the worse I felt. Thinking it could be related to bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist referred me to a specialist. Always feel the need to confess. Hi, it sounds to me as if you have a touch of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). The clue is in the forum name. It felt like my body was burning from my toes up, and I felt physically unable to move. I feel like if I have any weird thoughts, it means i'm a weird person, or something's wrong with me. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. The NIMH website goes on to state that obsessions can manifest in different ways, such as, "fear of germs or contamination, unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts, aggressive thoughts towards others or self," while compulsions can include "excessive cleaning and/or hand washing, ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way, compulsive counting.". Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. Work at Building Trust It is not uncommon for people with OCD to hide the nature or severity of their symptoms from others—especially those they may be engaged with romantically —for fear of embarrassment and rejection. Honestly, all my confessing is getting out of control. They may, for instance, be obsessed with the need to prevent some imagined ‘disaster’. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. Sorry if I've not been as helpful as other posters - reaching out moreso to say you're not alone in this and I hope that helps in some way. But it all makes sense now. There are real, accessible ways to take care of yourself, even as you help your partner get the help he or she needs. So I did what 11-year-old Renee would do and started searching for any reason I could be feeling this way. It’s ocd. Thanks for reading, sorry this is kind of long. If I had done a "bad" thing, I would need to tell my mom. Does this just take practice? I think it's another classic sign of OCD. Psychology and Mental Health Forum. At the time I didn’t have a clue it was OCD, and I really wish someone could have told me as it ate me up for years. We rarely go out on dates anymore, because the whole time we’re out, I’m confessing a thought I’ve had. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. When I learned what intrusive thoughts were, I immediately recognised them as what I had going through my mind any time my brain wasn't intently focussed on a specific task. Since then I have been reading about it (I should have read a long time before), and I see some symptoms in myself. You stop by stopping. I couldn't manage to think of anything I had done recently that would push me to feel so guilty, so I started racking my brain for past misdeeds. 0 being the least amount of anxiety and 100 being the most. I'm not in therapy, I'm not participating in ERP, and I am currently not on medication, although I do have a prescription for Xanax, which I take if I'm having a massive panic attack or really bad anxiety, which I haven't had in a long time. 4 weeks ago, by Mekishana Pierre OCD affects every aspect of my life, like how I complete my work, when I have sex, when I take a shower, and how I clean the bathroom. You can always explain that testing like this is a common feature of OCD. So let it be a lesson learned and move on. I may never truly be rid of it, but I can learn to live with it. Tell yourself you won't confess for an hour. When your partner is diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it can be difficult to give full attention to the challenges it presents for you. I dried off my left arm, my right arm, my left leg, my right leg, then my back, and then my front. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. I was inconsolable for about 24 hours. However, yes, I know that the urge to confess such awful thoughts and/or inner dialogue (that does indeed torment a person with OCD) is so strong, but what purpose does it really serve? from the top of the stairs. He broke up with me because of his worries. I ran back up the stairs to her, grabbed her hands tightly, and said very seriously, "The world is ending, and it's all my fault." Figuring all of this out was reassuring, but it didn't fix everything. Your link has been automatically embedded. I've learned to listen to what I need, and right now what I need is a break. After a month of ignoring the welling anxiety, I hit bottom again. The specialist 's office fully prepared to leave feeling no better now, now it ’ s an explanation what... 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