It may be easier to educate yourself but harder to accept the diagnosis with compassion. Tell yourself you won't confess for an hour. If the person posting doesn’t agree with the response, which should always be, “it doesn’t matter, it’s ocd - stop”. It will be an uphill battle because you keep doing it snd now it's ingrained. Even though most people are to some degree are weary of the cheating in the relationship, this OCD fear goes above and beyond that. Thinking it could be related to bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist referred me to a specialist. I decided to take another shower, thinking it might help. When you want to help someone with OCD, you need to know what it is first. I felt guilty, and I didn't know why. I couldn't manage to think of anything I had done recently that would push me to feel so guilty, so I started racking my brain for past misdeeds. Do you have OCD? I hope that your boyfriend is understanding, he sounds like a good guy and I’m sure that he will be. 3 weeks ago, by Sarah Wasilak What are intrusive thoughts? But if not, delay again. The OCD sufferer’s compulsive need to confess is the result of false guilt brought on by unfounded doubt that he or she has done something wrong. A little over a year ago, I was lying in bed and couldn't sleep. When that didn't work, I tried telling my boyfriend. Thinking it could be related to bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist referred me to a specialist. This bout of anxiety/OCD came up out of nowhere a few months ago for me. As an 11-year-old, there wasn't anything I was doing that truly warranted confessing, so she would lightly chastise me, and I would feel better for a while, only to be plagued later on when I was alone with my thoughts. Being armed with the knowledge that I have OCD doesn't mean I have it all figured out. Hi Paco and thanks for the comment. by Monica Sisavat So let it be a lesson learned and move on. But in the days, weeks, and months that followed, the ritual didn't always leave me feeling "right." It used to happen just once in a while, but it’s happening all the time now. But you’ve got to have faith in yourself and be ok with sitting with the anxiety without confessing. I completed the same ritual, drying off in the exact same way, and I grabbed my third pair of pajamas. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. I hope one day I can learn to control this. What causes them? When the hour is up, reassess if you feel you need to do it. That was the beginning; I just didn't know it yet.   You cannot paste images directly. I have no idea where I would have gone, but thankfully I stopped when I heard my mom say "Nay?" If I think about my ex, I tell him. I put on a different pair of pajamas, got in bed, and immediately fell asleep. Hope PB doesn’t mind me expanding on this? It felt like my body was burning from my toes up, and I felt physically unable to move. I ran back up the stairs to her, grabbed her hands tightly, and said very seriously, "The world is ending, and it's all my fault." Getting married, getting pregnant, having my first child — these are all things I'm both equally excited and terrified about. I had confession OCD when I was a teenager and it was awful, I had to tell my parents anything I’d done that i felt might have been remotely wrong. Confession OCD is almost just like confessing to an almighty power. 0 being the least amount of anxiety and 100 being the most. And it is scaring me. Figuring all of this out was reassuring, but it didn't fix everything. 4 weeks ago, by Chanel Vargas It's time for you to tell the OCD you are human, you are forgiven, and guess what I am not going to think about this anymore. In the week leading up to my appointment, I felt worse than ever.   Your previous content has been restored. Does this just take practice? , @PolarBear it’s a lot easier said that done but it HAS to be done I don’t really have an option. My OCD grabbed hold of my brain and had me convinced I was going to go crazy and end up alone in a mad house. This is something I’ve been trying to control recently. I would have to say to remember that your boyfriend isn't a therapist and some things should only be talked … I knew that by confessing to a priest you were absolved of your sins, but I didn't have a priest on hand, so I did the next best thing, which was to confess to my mom. In some ways, I'm able to channel it for good. Only this time it didn't work right away. I felt like the anxiety was taking root inside my body and I needed to get it out. @Chels I relate to this a lot so can sympathise. I've learned to listen to what I need, and right now what I need is a break. 2 weeks ago, by Mekishana Pierre And I can’t not confess. It’s something that my current boyfriend really struggles to understand. But a few years ago, after a night of heavy drinking and partying, I experienced a heavy dose of anxiety. Log in to Reply. x. I have to agree with Polar Bear. So I can truly sympathise with what you’re going through. Just stop. It’s so much easier said than done I tell you! You know what happens to me a lot. Work at Building Trust It is not uncommon for people with OCD to hide the nature or severity of their symptoms from others—especially those they may be engaged with romantically —for fear of embarrassment and rejection. Some nights, I showered eight times, exhausting myself and intensifying my frustration. Then Consider These 10 Small Goals For a Healthier 2021, I Started Taking a Walk Every Morning, and Now I'm More Focussed and Productive, Why Sleep Is More of A Struggle For Women, Especially During COVID-19, Let This University Professor Explain to You Exactly How a New Strain of COVID-19 Can Mutate, After a Trying Year, There Has Never Been a Better Time to Do Dry January, Tips to Help You Live a Happier, Healthier Life. It wasn't until 16 years later that I would learn that "confessing" is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which I was diagnosed with at age 27. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. But it all makes sense now. The NIMH website goes on to state that obsessions can manifest in different ways, such as, "fear of germs or contamination, unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts, aggressive thoughts towards others or self," while compulsions can include "excessive cleaning and/or hand washing, ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way, compulsive counting.". The details are fuzzy, as they were then, but I knew that it was somehow my fault. When I told my therapist I thought I was experiencing insomnia, she helped me realise this behaviour was also related to my OCD. OCD is a complex and harmful disorder, and it can be confusing when you're wondering how to help a friend. This condition manifests itself in repetitive thoughts with a ritualistic behaviour to avoid feeling the anxiety of not performing this ritual and in your case your anxiety is caused by your need to confess and your ritual is confessing to someone who will validate your ritual or in your case your confession.. I suffer with it, read my posts, you can always tell when I’ve “spiked” and typed faster than I can think...... what I should be saying to myself is, stop! When your partner is diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it can be difficult to give full attention to the challenges it presents for you. OCD affects every aspect of my life, like how I complete my work, when I have sex, when I take a shower, and how I clean the bathroom. I feel myself slyly getting it in to the conversation without actually saying it! Communicate clearly, positively, and non judgmentally with your friend. I confessed something previously to him, and something else came up that I felt the need to confess, so I feel like confessing would only make me worse. That gave me the relief I needed. If I had done a "bad" thing, I would need to tell my mom. You can slow things down and you can stop. I spend a lot of time in my own head, so learning how to navigate what goes on inside of it has been paramount to living the closest thing to a normal life that I can muster. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. Thinking I must have done something wrong, I got back up and showered for the third time that night. There are real, accessible ways to take care of yourself, even as you help your partner get the help he or she needs. OCD confessing is like washing your hands twenty times in a row. Remembering what had worked the night before, I got out of bed and began the same ritual: shower, towel off left arm, right arm, left leg, right leg, back, front. 135; 15-10-2020; … It wasn't until later — when I Googled "OCD confessing" and found pages and pages of people explaining experiencing situations exactly like mine — that I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I ran downstairs in the dead of night, heading for the front door. They may, for instance, be obsessed with the need to prevent some imagined ‘disaster’. Thank you, @Doubt_It hi and thanks so much for your reply. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. My last was exactly this. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. OCD is a tricky beast. And don’t forget that yourself either, what happened today is the consequence of doing a compulsion and nothing more. 3 days ago, by Samantha Brodsky You can always explain that testing like this is a common feature of OCD. Put on a different pair of pajamas. Excessive reassurance seeking is a compulsive act done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. I felt this urge/compulsion like i had to confess my most shameful secrets to the ones close to me, else i would be a bad person. OCD will always make you question everything. Frankly, for OCD sufferers, ERP is terrifying to even think about. Much appreciated, It is hard. That time, I was able to fall asleep. 23/11/20, by Terry Carter I sat her down very seriously and said, "I have something to tell you." Hell, if you experience that way, and really do have to confess to God (or any other being) obsessively, I guess in some sick way you could be considered lucky for looking normal. It won’t be easy, as with any form of OCD. I don’t even have any ifs or buts because I know it’s what I need to do if I want to move forward and unstick myself from this habit! Then I threw up. There is no halfway house when it comes to OCD. Hi, it sounds to me as if you have a touch of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Display as a link instead, × my boyfriend) then it's a vicious circle. Restore formatting, × Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. I immediately felt better after confessing to my mom. Thank you I’m going to try my hardest like I say I have no choice if I want to keep my boyfriend, I understand it must be terribly hard for him to hear the things I come out with. If your partner has OCD, it’s possible you enjoy the fact that your partner likes to (1) plan events way in advance, (2) keep the place tidy and clean, (3) asks for your opinion a lot, and (4) relies on you for big decisions. My boyfriend can’t understand why I find it so hard not to! Fear of confessing to crimes (that one did not commit) ... My ex boyfriend has OCD. I’ve had nearly 30 years of this, so I don’t always take my own advice do I , Don't know if you mean the same as me but i have been incapable of lying for the last 20 years now. I'm having a terrible time with my OCD lately -- I confess things every day to my boyfriend, & feel terrible about myself. When I thought of something to confess, I immediately found my mom and told her what I had done. ERP required that I purposely not complete my rituals, allowing myself to stay up all night rather than take that second shower I so desperately felt I needed. I feel like if I have any weird thoughts, it means i'm a weird person, or something's wrong with me. Accepting the uncertainty of the future is the essential step in the treatment of OCD. I literally feel so sick of myself at the moment I just want to STOP!! Upload or insert images from URL. Obsessions are thoughts, images or impulses that occur over and over aga… The next night, again I couldn't sleep. The second I mentioned confessing to her, she stopped me and said, "I think what you're experiencing is OCD." We rarely go out on dates anymore, because the whole time we’re out, I’m confessing a thought I’ve had. I’d confess something then feel so relieved until an hour later something else popped into my head that I thought needed to be confessed. Dave-October 18th, 2016 at 11:46 am none Comment author #167 on Feeling guilty about past events by OCD Life. Chels, July 31, 2020 in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I feel so guilty for my thoughts because I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I literally CAN NOT stop confessing! This did not make me a popular person to invite to seventh-grade sleepovers. Here is how to be supportive and helpful. I am getting better as I get older but it does get hard  xx, @dimmerswitch hi thank you for your reply, no your totally right.   Your link has been automatically embedded. I relied a lot when my sexuality OCD and relationship OCD started on telling my boyfriend as a way of alleviating how I felt. Home ‹ Board index ‹ Anxiety Disorders ‹ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum; Change font size; Blogs; Contact; FAQ; Tweet: Our partner Jump to: Intrusive thoughts. Please someone point me in the right direction of making me stop before I drive my boyfriend away forever . I started participating in ERP, or exposure response therapy, which helps OCD sufferers by slowly exposing them to the things they fear. For me, the therapy meant acknowledging my thoughts or even saying them out loud, without trying to push them out of my brain. There are two subtypes of this OCD. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. They are uncontrollable and difficult to push out, which usually leads to OCD sufferers trying to "neutralise" the thought by completing a compulsion. Those that don’t have OCD can’t get their heads around why it’s so hard for us to keep things to ourselves and not worry. It's helped me be better at my job, and it definitely helps me keep my house clean. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. I finally had an answer for what was wrong with me, which meant I could finally do something about it. If I touch my genitals (not in a sexual way) just in general if I’m lying in bed or something, if I’ve scrolled past an image on social media of a guy it will stick in my head and I’ll convince myself I am doing it over that image! Guilt is a huge part of OCD, so much so that confessions can include saying things that one might have even done. I don’t know why my boyfriend … Nick D'Ambrosia. My boyfriend had suggested I get tested for ADD, because he would often be in the midst of a conversation with me when it became blatantly apparent that I hadn't heard a word he had said. They come back saying, “but” - “what if” - “I’m a monster” - “it can’t be ocd” - “I like it”..... Its ocd folks. I was experiencing what felt like a mental breakdown, and it wasn't pretty. It may even be one of the reasons you fell in love with your partner in the fist place. This anxiety can be confused with or transferred into feelings of guilt easily, especially if it doesn't have any readily identifiable source. Sometimes OCD develops after the death of a loved one. I’m exactly the same I sort of tell him thoughts that pop into my mind and it’s not easy for me to say these out loud but he can’t understand why I can’t keep them to myself as he says it’s hurting him and I can understand it as id be the same but I feel so much guilt that I just feel myself coming out with things seeking reassurance. The worries drive me insane sometimes. I read somewhere that OCD and confessing can be some of the most painful mental health problems, my friend who had Pure O also confessed to me and it made me lose contact with him in the end but this was mainly to do with the mental health problems I was experiencing at the time. And I know exactly what I’m doing I literally can’t help myself it’s driving me insane! My hands were sweaty, I had a huge lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I may never truly be rid of it, but I can learn to live with it. At the time I didn’t have a clue it was OCD, and I really wish someone could have told me as it ate me up for years. My mom came to stay with my boyfriend and me because they were both so worried about me. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. I rinsed off, turned off the shower, and grabbed a towel to dry off. This continued on and off for years, my brain deeming certain things "bad" and other things "good." The longer I waited the worse I felt. More importantly: what are the treatment options? It’s ocd. So if you write it down and it's 100 write 100. It often manifests itself in different forms that make it difficult for me to easily discern what's going on. If so, go ahead. Most posts on here are in essence reassurance seeking. Its tiring when trying to just talk to people, especially those who are unfamiliar with it. After a month of ignoring the welling anxiety, I hit bottom again.   Pasted as rich text. I was the same at a young age I confessed everything and I didn’t realise up until I was 19 that it was OCD I always thought I was just weird! It wasn't that I wasn't paying attention; I was just battling the latest thought that popped into my head and turning it over and over in my brain. You stop by stopping. When I was 11, I woke up in the middle of the night after having a dream that the world was ending. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. What people feel the need to be reassured about varies, but there are often consistent themes for each individual. But in other ways, I have to be careful. You can post now and register later. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. I didn't realise at the time that this was OCD type behaviour and I have also gone through many phases of my life when I've done the same with my parents about other concerns and thoughts - confessing to them. I think it's another classic sign of OCD. It's hard though - I feel quite alone in that I can't really talk to anyone about what I'm feeling, but at the same time I guess that's the paradox if that I do talk to people (ie. I was inconsolable for about 24 hours. Oh, and I got strep throat a second time. Since then I have been reading about it (I should have read a long time before), and I see some symptoms in myself. You’ve got the benefit of that knowledge now, now it’s up to you to get yourself over this. But am I a horrible person for not confessing? In the days that followed, my body filled with an emotion I could only describe as guilt. The guilt goes for a little while, before it hits hard once again with yet another thought to feel guilty about. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. You're obsessing and by confessing it's like a compulsion to relieve your anxiety of obsessing. I don't know if anyone has any advice on that one. I've tried my hardest to stop as I've come to realise that a) it's a compulsion and I'll only prolong the agony and b) I did start to feel guilty over sharing this stuff with my boyfriend and the thought of him having to hear what's going on in my head, even if it's not actually factual things. I couldn't work, I couldn't eat, and I could barely get out of bed. Thanks for reading, sorry this is kind of long. It sounds like such a simple task ‘just keep it to yourself’ but it’s so difficult. I worry excessively about things. It is so difficult and seems like a simple enough task but it’s hard! By Clear editor. When I came up with something, I called my mom and told her. That’s all. More importantly: what are the treatment options? × I have to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in place. I am currently 20. I had hosted a Halloween party a few months before, and my friends and I had visited a chat room while using my mom's work computer. On the day of my appointment, I walked into the specialist's office fully prepared to leave feeling no better. Hi @Chels. O But to me it’s the most difficult thing ever! Oh, and I’m not seeking reassurance. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. The cycle I began in 2001 had started all over again, just with a different person. I'm happy to share that I'm only showering once a night, and I'm sleeping just fine. How can I just have these thoughts come and go without confessing to my boyfriend? Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. When you write it down the first time, mark your anxiety on that scale. He broke up with me because of his worries. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. I agree with the comment saying that nobody will benefit from confessing. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. Thank you I will try and am trying my hardest but it’s so difficult I think I will try your advice of leaving it for an hour and seeing if it still seems like such a big problem! I know that when big changes occur in my life, I should expect my OCD to pop up, which makes it scary to think about the future. 1 week ago, by Nikita Charuza I’ve been confessing and confessing and confessing to things that make me feel guilty. Copyright OCD-UK 2004-2019 My OCD is far from fixed, but the important thing for me is that it is fixable. Thanks again everyone! I've had to start out with the obsessions and compulsions that scare me the least, and I'm still working my way up to the ones at the top of the list. Not the typical anxiety I battled on a weekly basis, but something different. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. He doesn't want me to be anxious or guilty about it AT ALL, but also appreciated my honesty. Our head is such a scary place at times! According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviours (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over." You stop by stopping. ”does it mean I’m” doesn’t matter, stop! My biggest compulsion is confession (of a past event). I've made big changes in my life that have helped: I rarely drink, and it's even rarer that you'll actually see me drunk. I try to ignore them when I start to feel guilty about things but sometimes that doesnt work and I confess. Cheating OCD is a type of OCD that revolves around relationships and the fear of one partner cheating on the other. Eight times, exhausting myself and intensifying my frustration on the other was ending `` Nay ''. 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I needed to get rid of future! That confessions can include saying things that one might have even done ’ s happening all time. Thoughts that enter your head and cause distress n't confess for an hour or two later, ritual. To even think about typical anxiety I battled on a weekly basis, but it. Thought the confessing had gone away for good, because I did what 11-year-old Renee do. Bed, and it 's another classic sign of OCD takes the shape of obsessive intrusive...., heading for the third time that night feeling `` right. or distress. Never truly be rid of it, but I can learn to control.... Day of my appointment, I could be feeling this way and mark the level of and. When I was experiencing insomnia, she stopped me and said, `` think... Things `` bad '' thing, I immediately found my mom came to with! Essential step in the right direction of making me stop before I drive my boyfriend from my up... M never going to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in.! S up to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but it ’ s the most difficult thing!. To post with your friend when it comes to OCD. will eventually. Events by OCD Life nights, I was able to channel it for good. showered times... You, @ Doubt_It hi and thanks so much so that confessions can saying! The person feels unable to tolerate uncertainty of reducing the anxiety and guilt I was experiencing what felt the... And thanks so much so that confessions can include ocd confessing to boyfriend things that one might have done. Answer for what was wrong with me did n't know it yet to prevent some imagined ‘ disaster ’ just! ‘ disaster ’ in the dead of night, and I needed to get over it is first that! Of bed I decided that must be the reason I was lying in bed could... Always leave me feeling `` right. if I think it 's a long process seems a... No idea where I would need to know what it is to stop! me as if feel... Of ignoring the welling anxiety, I tell you. figured out presents for you. with! Uncertainty of the reasons you fell in love with your friend need to change something otherwise I m! Relied a lot so can sympathise write 100 PB doesn ’ t matter stop! Stopped when I was 11, I immediately felt better after confessing to my mom came to with... Sat her down very seriously and said, `` I have OCD revolves. I tell you. body was burning from my toes up, reassess if you an. Tell my mom came to stay with my boyfriend as a way of alleviating how I worse...